Those in between spaces between relationships.
I don't know anyone who can claim to be immune from the "I'm worried I will be single forever" thoughts.
It's visited us all sometime, late at night when we should have been sound asleep.
It's this thought that causes so much of the mess we are presently seeing in the modern dating world.
Adult souls so fearful of ending up on their own, old and alone, that it prevents them from deeply enjoying their own company and life as a single person.
And so we see women perpetually searching and on the lookout for their next someone hoping they're a better man than the last someone, hoping that they might be their forever someone. A man that is committed and that chooses and adores them for all of who they are.
And men, searching and looking for their next someone, wanting to be loved and appreciated for who they are, wondering if the grass might just be greener, so often still keeping their eye out just in case, reluctant to commit too deeply to any woman too soon.
Leaving women heartbroken and believing that many men are emotionally unavailable, wounded and players.
Leaving men wondering where are all the women who don't need saving, who don't have anxiety, neediness and trust issues.
I know this is a cliché and not always true. But mostly it kind of is the modern dating experience.
So what is the pathway out of this fear that keeps us in an unhelpful patterning of cycling through wound mate style relationships?
It is to accept that we might be single forever (or at least for a very long time) and to be completely at peace and happy with it.
Knowing:
I will have an amazing full life even if I am single forever.
I will be more than fine if I am single forever.
I can still afford to live a beautiful lifestyle and do everything I love even if I am single forever.
My life will still be full of amazing love, friendships and people even if I am single forever.
I will still be loved even if I am single forever.
When we truly reach that place within ourselves because we have started to cultivate that energy through our choices and actions as a single person is when love does that magical thing.
It shows up.
Not just a someone (anyone can find one of those!) But our forever person.
This magic happens because we are already living the life and energy of a deeply contented person who has a full and happy life without someone. Which means we are beautifully detached from the outcome - of needing someone because we are moving as if we have someone.
The need for love to appear and fill a void in yourself and in your life has disappeared because there is no void.
In this space a deeply wounded soul is going to be very less likely to approach you or if they do they will bring their absolute best A game to the table because they will see and feel that they're going to need too to garner your attention.
And in this energy a wounded soul isn't going to be as attractive to you. Their drama, lies, games, non-committal nature, victim mentality. It won't be of your energetic vibration and you won't want to spoil what you have going on.
Your desire will be for someone to add to your life's energy. Not take away from it.
Look through the "I will..." beliefs above that we need you to completely embody to be able to say with complete truth that you would be comfortable to be single forever.
Which one resonates as the one that you need to change your belief and do some work on?
*This post is an excerpt taken from both of my books combined to write this blog post for you.
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Carla Da Costa is a published author and certified Law Of Attraction coach based in Perth, Australia.
Carla works with women who are separated, divorced or divorcing through her private coaching practice, her online program "Elevate You" and her books.
Carla supports and inspires women to make this next season of their life, the best season of their life. Creating results in their personal and romantic love life that they couldn't create as quickly on their own, while also avoiding many of the modern world dating and relationship heartbreaks and pitfalls.