Menopause & Marriage Breakdowns. Did Menopause End My Marriage — or Was the Problem My Marriage?

Many women quietly ask themselves this question. Did menopause end my marriage, or was the real problem my marriage all along?

After years of coaching both men and women through this life and hormonal intersection, my answer is simple:

This chapter of life shines a light on the emotional quality — or lack of it — that’s always been there. If your marriage didn’t survive menopause, there’s an emotional reason it didn’t.

When menopause becomes a mirror

Perimenopause brings a sharp drop in progesterone — your calm, connecting, feel-good hormone. Without it, everything feels louder.

You feel overstimulated, underappreciated, and done with everyone’s demands — including your husband’s.Your tolerance drops.Your perspective sharpens.

It’s like a veil lifts, and suddenly you can see every way you’ve over-given, people-pleased, repressed your truth, and carried the emotional load just to keep peace.

That awareness isn’t hormonal chaos.

It’s truth rising to the surface.

The fire that wakes within

If you’ve spent years abandoning yourself to maintain your marriage, menopause will bring that to light. It’s not just physical. It’s emotional — everything you’ve suppressed begins to boil to the surface.

The woman who once stayed silent starts to speak.The woman who tolerated disconnection starts to crave depth.And the woman who once prioritised everyone else finally begins to ask, What about me?

Everything the younger version of you accepted or turned a blind eye to now feels impossible to ignore.

Why so many marriages end during menopause

The issue isn’t menopause itself — it’s that many marriages have been held together by a woman’s self-abandonment. Her emotional labour. Her silence. Her willingness to carry more than her share.

When she stops over-giving and over-caring — when she no longer has the energy or desire to repeat old patterns — the structure of the marriage often collapses with it.

Menopause is the wake-up call. It strips away illusion and demands emotional honesty.

Growth doesn’t stop with him — it begins with you

It’s easy to place the blame entirely on your ex, but this season invites deeper reflection. What patterns did you contribute to? Where did you stay quiet, overcompensate, or settle for less?

Healing means facing both sides — his and yours — with compassion and clarity. Menopause may have ended your marriage, but it can also begin your liberation.

It’s time to rise from the ashes

If your marriage ended during menopause or perimenopause, you are not broken — you are awakening. But it is a reflection of your patterning, your internal beliefs and behaviours that allowed your marriage to last for as long as it did.

Not everyone's marriages lasted for as long as yours did to end at this season of life. Why did yours?

This is your moment to rebuild your emotional balance, reclaim your confidence like you've never had before and learn how to live as the woman you’ve always been beneath the patterns and conditioning that kept you in your marriage for as long as you were.

That’s the work we do inside AfterGlow — my six-month coaching program for women rebuilding and redefining themselves after separation. You’ll heal the emotional patterns that kept you people pleasing, putting others needs over and above your own, from attracting and keeping in your life men who took more from you than they ever really gave. And you will learn how to lead your next chapter with self-trust and clarity.

Join AfterGlow today and begin the next phase of your life — grounded, confident, and free.

Join AfterGlow Here.

With love, Carla Da Costa x