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Leaving My Marriage - The Fears I Hear (And What I Wish My Clients Were Thinking Instead)

Many of us have found ourselves at this life cliff moment wondering "do I leave my marriage?", wondering what to do next. Some of us leap, some of us wondering longer than others before leaping, others choosing to never leap at all.


One privilege of working for over five years with women in this space and season in this life is the commonalities I begin to hear.


The same fears, thoughts, self-doubts and self-questionings. All of us (men included), move through these same thoughts and emotions at this life cliff moment.


As someone who took the leap four years ago and is out the other side, who’s walked through the emotional, family and financial changes all I want to share with you is this - if I had to live my life again I would choose that leap for myself again, every time.


It has been the best thing for my confidence, my life and for my daughters and has continued to be.


For you if this finds you in this space. You are never too old. It is never too late. Let's turn your fears around and look at our life instead from a place of our higher self energy over our wounded self energy xx


The Fears I Hear And What I Wish You Were Thinking Instead


I will struggle financially


Instead of...


What a wonderful way to be financially empowered and independent. To create a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. I have time to recreate this life and lifestyle with someone who is more aligned with me.

I won't find love again. I will end up alone and on my own.


Instead of...


I've found love before so of course I will find love again. This next time around will be amazing for me.



This will hurt my children. I am afraid of how they will react to this. I am selfish to do this to them and to choose my happiness over theirs.


Instead of...


What a beautiful way to demonstrate to my children what living authentically and true to you looks like which is exactly how I desire to see them live. What a beautiful way for me to demonstrate to them how love really looks, tastes and feels. My children will go on to choose healthier, more long-term relationships for themselves as a result of my courage. My children learn by watching me, I give them always the best example of living in this way. This is being a good parent.



The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It will be just more of the same with someone else.


Instead of...


I'm using this line to keep myself self and I am self-abandoning my true feelings and desires to stay in this relationship. It is time to be real with myself. If other people can enjoy relationships and dynamics like I desire than so is it possible for me to do so too.




Who will want me and love me with such young children.


Instead of...


The right person will love me and welcome my children because they are an extension of me and he won't want to lose me in his life.


_______________________________________________________________________________


Carla Da Costa is a published author and certified Law Of Attraction coach based in Perth, Australia.

Carla works with women who are separated, divorced or divorcing through her private coaching practice, her online program "Elevate You" and her books.

Carla supports and inspires women to make this next season of their life, the best season of their life. Creating results in their personal and romantic love life that they couldn't create as quickly on their own, while also avoiding many of the modern world dating and relationship heartbreaks and pitfalls.


To find out more about Carla's group coaching program Elevate You to support you to create your own life path with your Queen mindset on click here. To learn more about working with Carla one on one through her Future Me program click here. Alternately you can view some of Carla's free publications here.

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