This is for the woman who has suffered in love and who is healing.
We've all been there. All women are bound together in that experience.
And I am all about healing - it's much of what I do here coaching men and women.
But sometimes, there comes a point where we are no longer really healing and instead we are hiding.
Continuously being on a healing path we get on and off, or one we stay on for a long period of time can become a tool that keeps us leaning into what we actually fear over moving through and forward out of it.
From opening ourselves up to someone again.
Trusting ourselves enough to let someone into our hearts and bodies.
To not talking about what's happened to us anymore - a letting go of our story.
From taking the first step and making the necessary deep change.
From putting ourselves out there as all of ourselves.
Admitting and honouring our truth and intuition. Letting ourselves get it wrong again even knowing this is part of the learning for me.
From doing the 'something' that we are putting of doing.
Of actually getting on with our life.
Our minds are beautifully brilliant at finding reasons to keep us safe and in our comfort zones.
We all have our own sophisticated version of that game we play along with.
For someone who has been through trauma, loss and/or grief the hiding space can be so brilliantly packaged and repackaged as necessary healing for as long as our comfort zone desires for us to stay in that space.
This is how a woman can be single for years on end. Or find herself in situationship's only. Almost by choice.
Sometimes too much healing is hiding.
It is actually us avoiding taking the empowered next step forward.
Do you really need another reiki, sound healing or kinesiology session to clear your energy? Do you still need to be living back with your parents? Another session with your psych or counsellor to talk over the past? Or is it more forward action and loving accountability you're needing now?
Only you know x
*This is a chapter excerpt from the book "Seconds Please ~ Lessons On Life, Love & Self After Divorce." You can learn more about it here.
_______________________________________________________________________________ Carla Da Costa is the author of Seconds Please ~ Lessons On Life, Love & Self After Divorce and a certified Law Of Attraction coach based in Perth, Australia. Carla works with women who are separated, divorced or divorcing through her private coaching practice, her online program "Elevate You" and her books.
Carla supports and inspires women to make this next season of their life, the best season of their life. Creating results in their personal and romantic love life that they couldn't create as quickly on their own, while also avoiding many of the modern world dating and relationship heartbreaks and pitfalls. To find out more about Carla's group coaching program Elevate You to support you to create your own life path with your Queen mindset on click here. To learn more about working with Carla one on one through her Future Me program click here. Alternately you can view Carla's book Seconds Please here.