Why Do I Talk About The Twin Flame Journey As A Divorce Coach?

When I left my marriage in 2016 I left a little anxious about finding love again but also naively hopeful. I hadn't been single, or with another man for 14 years. I was ready but felt equally totally out of my depth.

The world of online dating felt overwhelming.

But then how was I going to meet someone in real life?

The realisation that I needed to grow into myself first and no longer be this co-dependent version of a woman to find love now, the woman who I had been in my marriage, well it never occured to me.

And so off I trotted into the dating world. Old version of me with all my old patterning, hoping to find love again that was better than what I'd just left.

Yes...it doesn't work like that.

8 years of my own personal journey through love after divorce. 8 years of growing into myself through my own love and personal journey. 8 years of coaching men and women through their own marriage ending and love journeys...

I've learnt a lot about love and what it really is as you can imagine.

Whether you are more comfortable saying true love or twin flame. The terminology doesn't matter. The concept is the same.

What sort of love connections will actually last long-term when they're not forcibly tied together by children, finances, extended familial and social ties, fear, guilt and shame like so many marriages are.

And it is this.

If the love is superficial - based more on physical and sexual attraction and need, how you make my ego feel, what they save me from, give to me, or do for me, then without the forcible bonds of marriage, it won't last. Because it doesn't have too.

Everything you did to get married won't find you a long lasting, deep connection after your marriage has ended.

And how you behaved and showed up in your marriage won't support a long lasting, deep connection either.

True love and twin flame love are defined by several characteristics.

1. Unconditional love. I love you for you. Grow with me and next to me. A connection that we don't outgrow despite our growth. In fact growth brings the union closer.

2. An emotional connection and attraction.

3. An intellectual connection and attraction.

4. A physical and sexual connection and attraction.

5. A healing or spiritual light that is lit up for both when they come together that benefits those around them as a lesson on how to live, sometimes benefiting the collective as a whole with their work and energy.

Love within the majority of first marriages are defined mostly by other characteristics.

1. Conditional love. I love you for what you do for me, how you and I present to others, how you make me look and feel about myself. This love requires us to not change or grow, they require us to stay the same. In fact growth often ends these connections because they were connections designed to be catalysts for our growth.

2. Love is more of a habit, a caring feeling, than it is an intimate feeling love.

3. The intellectual connection often changes because the connection doesn't support growth and the growth is not in parallel with one another.

4. The emotional connection changes to either become more like friends or a version of unhealthy/toxic/abusive. With that so disappears the sexual polarity to have any type of meaningful deep physical and sexual connection and attraction. Sex and intimacy becomes robotic or more like a form of mutual masturbation with somebody else's body.

And so what can we see in the above?

The absolute difference in the depth of the connection and love between the two which translates to the absolute difference in the emotional, spiritual and intellectual depth of the individuals within these connections.

Most souls post their marriage ending are in the grey area. They don't want to be in a connection like they were in when they were married - they don't want to experience that trapped feeling, or those dynamics or hurts again.

They desire to be in a true love dynamic (which most don't believe in let me tell you, until they actually meet someone in their own life which makes them stop and go 'ohhhh'). But they don't know how to get there.

They dance in this grey area until they do the true inner work to raise themselves to the higher vibration inside to be true love/twin flame energetically ready . Having all sorts of experiences of what they don't want, some of which is positive, some of which is negative along the way. Until they finally WAKE UP and choose to do the inner healing. Consciously choose to stop repeating patterns. Realising the pattern is ME and I CREATE my life. And if I don't like what is being shown to me as a result then it speaks to ME about ME.

Of course diving timing comes into play. But for 95% of people that are here it is not a divine timing problem. It's an 'I haven't done deep enough inner work and woken up to myself and my shadow' problem.

And until you choose this you will dance in the grey area of love and relationships.

More evolved than the patterning that you left behind in your marriage to go back. Not quite evolved and awake enough to be of the vibration and timeline above.

Life is a journey of levels. And we all choose our journeys and the level that we want to play on.

Every level, requiring a different version of you at your best.

Consciously choose yours instead of being asleep.

Love is not luck. Love is a spiritual growth journey. And you choose the level you want to play on.

*To deepen into your own personal spiritual and emotional growth and healing in readiness for your own true love/twin flame journey (you can start this journey before meeting someone who you think might be this person, in fact I advise it)! please view my program here to work with me.