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Twin Flames Or Soul Mates?

Twin flames or soul mates...are you wondering what sort of a relationship you are in?


Most relationships are intended to teach us lessons, not actually last forever. Not every love is supposed to last.


Feel the freedom over the fear in this.


The truth is we accept relationships that mirror how we feel about ourselves and we let go of relationships when our soul and spirit can no longer stay quiet and acknowledges we deserve and desire more.


I gift you this post from myself after leaving a karmic love last year that I believed was going to be my forever - before I had even heard of the term twin flame, and finding myself deeply wounded.



I was mistaken in believing this was deserving of being forever, as often can be the journey with karmic loves until life pulls the rug out from underneath our feet to show us otherwise.


The hardest breakup to have is the one we know needs to happen but we don’t want to occur.


A brutal karmic lesson that I am grateful for now twelve months after the fact.


Time is the truest barometer of what type of connection you have. I hope this share enlightens you and gifts you the space to reflect and see your present or past relationship for what it was and place it with gratitude into the basket it belongs it to be in, allowing it to be what it is over trying to force it to be something it is not.


Love, if this path happens to you like me, is a journey of letting our twin flame find us - and being ready for it when it does


I hope this post brings you enlightenment and clarity x


Soul Mate


  • - Occurs before we fully know ourselves, we follow the fairy tale, it might feel like the next obvious step. Familial safety, people marrying around us.

  • - Based more on how others view us more than how we actually feel.

  • - A safe landing pad and comfort zone and it may be a relationship we fall back into and desperately need after a karmic love.

  • - Could be described as feeling like a warm bath.

  • - From the outside it looks right.

  • - No major lessons to learn here, like coming home to an old friend.

  • - Can feel like a fall back solution because they are always there.

  • - We're doing what's expected of us which gives us ego satisfaction.

  • - We don't yet understand that the man or woman we've fallen in love with is little more than a reflection of the person our family and conditioning led us to search for.

  • - Looking to someone else to help us feel a certain way about ourselves.

  • - "I should do this..." is often a feeling that keeps us in this relationship even if we feel a sense of is there more out there for me.

  • - Characterised by the romantic forever feeling transferring to more of a familial/friendship feeling.



Karmic Love


  • The hard love

  • The kind of love that hurts through the tough lessons of lies, pain or manipulation

  • Sometimes we can hope that this is a twin flame relationship when it is not

  • Will feel electric and start of hot and fast

  • Most likely to have a high level of drama in time which keeps us addicted to the story line; the emotional roller coaster of highs and lows

  • Trying to make this relationship work is more important to us than whether it should

  • Karmic love can be a cycle, often one we keep repeating with different partners hoping the ending will be different

  • Exists to reveal to us everything that we are still trying to avoid about ourselves

  • We become used to the di-satisfaction that can exist in this relationship and normalise it without realising

  • We fall in love with the qualities we want to see in them and what we want to see in ourselves

  • They validate us

  • A feeling of we've made it, as though we've escaped any self-growth on the path to finding this love

  • Love bombing and narcissistic behaviour can often be present

  • We often experience marriage and have children in this relationship

  • We swallow our truth to stay with this person for as long we do

  • This relationship is about becoming strong enough to stand on our own two feet.

  • We will learn that we can't make something last that is supposed to end

  • Forces us to look at everything we are trying to ignore about ourselves


The Twin Flame



  • Makes us question how deeply we ever loved before

  • Highly connected on a spiritual/soul level that we don't have words to explain

  • All we have to do is just be ourselves in this relationship for it to flow

  • Unconditional love and a knowing from the beginning

  • Individuals are on the same frequency and energy level which creates a magnetic pull and feeling that once felt can't be forgotten

  • A comfort level from the start that feels surprising

  • Likely someone we never expected to be - age wise, race, socioeconomic background, location, gender even

  • We only ever get one twin flame in life

  • Occurs later in life typically because we couldn't have been ready for it earlier

  • Love that feels easy with no pressure or need to force

  • Two people who will always be led back to one another no matter how much they resist the connection

  • No desire to roll into a relationship or define it through society norms or with a timeline, just a desire to let things progress and for it to be in your life. This is a reflection of personal growth over dis-interest/unavailability

  • Wants to see you love yourself as much as they love you

  • Wakes us up sexually and emotionally to be the people that we are meant to be



With love

Carla x



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Need help to change and uplevel what you are attracting and pursuing in you life? Support to know what to do next?


Carla Da Costa is an experienced Law Of Attraction Coach based in Perth and the Director behind The Rising Woman Foundation an Australian based charity.


Carla works with men and women helping them to rediscover themselves and up level what they attract into their life after a relationship has ended. This work also supports women rediscovering themselves within a relationship to reconnect with themselves after the life season of raising young children.

In her work here she supports women to shine brighter and bolder in life, love and business through her program Back To Fab and through her one on one consultations. Carla’s aim is to support and empower men and women to become a product of their greatest vision over becoming a product of their past environment.


YOU CAN READ MORE ABOUT THE WAYS TO WORK WITH CARLA HERE.



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